When You Give a Marth a Pokeball
by HMTQ - Madge
Summary: Marth's obsession: Pokeballs. Ike is getting tired of Marth's luck with pokeballs, so Ike and Ness decide to take things into their own hands. Story is definitely better than summary. A humorous fic. Rated for language.


A/N: Disclaimer: I own nothing but this fic. ^_^

**When You Give a Marth a Pokeball**

_There it is!_

The irresistible item seemed to materialize out of nowhere and land only a few small feet away from the blue haired prince. Round, small, and most importantly, _shiny._ The lighting from the stage he was brawling on hit the small thing perfectly, giving it a slight glossy sheen. Just to be able to hold the thing was enough for him, although what was inside was more often than not extremely helpful. It was Marth's one true love.

A pokeball. His favorite item.

Marth was quickly brought back from the hypnotizing ability of the oh-so-shiny pokeball as his opponent, Ike, brought down his sword in a deadly slash. Or, what would have been deadly if the Smashers were able to feel pain or get hurt, which they were unable to do while they were fighting on the stages thanks to a spell cast by Master Hand. Marth knew that if Ike's sword hit true, he would never get the chance to hold the precious item. He couldn't, no, _wouldn't_ allow that.

With fast reflexes Marth managed dodge the heavy two handed sword by jumping backwards, which unfortunately for Marth put more space between him and his objective. He didn't have much time strategize what to do next, as Ike had already lifted his sword back up and was once again running towards Marth. It was easy to tell he was ready to deal the finishing blow and end this. Marth parried the blow, knocking the sword aside which gave him a chance to get a firm grip on the front of Ike's shirt. Quickly Marth, using all his upper body strength, lifted Ike above his head and threw Ike behind him, sending Ike sliding across the stage. Thankfully, he was away from the pokeball. But Ike noticed something.

_That throw was rather sloppy… _Ike thought to himself, using his sword to help him up. The throw had only stunned him for a few seconds, but that wasn't enough to keep him down. He was too badass, er, _strong_ for that. Suddenly Ike spotted the item that had caused Marth to lose concentration. Ike's eyes widened.

_Oh SHIT. Not again! _Ike thought, fear starting to rise within him.

_**FLASHBACK**_

_It had been a fierce battle between Ike and Marth. There was only 45 seconds left on the clock, and both swordsmen were tied, neither of them having fallen off yet. Unlike most brawls which were simply for the heck of it, this one was being broadcast around the world. Once a week Master Hand would collect the three best recorded 10 minute brawls that week and send them to the local TV station to show on the television, saving the best for the last 10 minutes. Little did they know that that spot would definitely be reserved for this particular fight. _

_With 45 seconds left on the clock, Marth and Ike were giving it their all. Both had sustained critical 'damage' as they called it, damage only meaning they had a more chance of knock back or getting thrown of the stage with one hit. Each were left panting on the opposite sides of the stage, Final Destination. All of a sudden a pokeball materialized from the sky, landing in front of Ike. Marth's eyes immediately lit up. Without a second thought he dashed off towards the pokeball, not noticing the colorful smash ball near him until it was practically touching him. Annoyed, Marth swatted the ball away from with his sword, unknowingly breaking it open. A colorful light surrounded Marth, but Marth barely noticed. That didn't stop Ike from noticing though. In a last desperate attempt to win the fight, Ike picked up the pokeball. He didn't know that would probably be one of the most fatal mistakes of his life. _

_Before Ike could look back up from the pokeball, there was a sword at his throat. He heard a growl from in front of him. Slowly, he looked up to see the golden burning eyes of Marth, a snarl on his face. Marth snatched the ball away from Ike, and for a split second a look of relief crossed over his face before turning back into an angry glower. "Don't you EVER," Marth growled out, "EVER, touch my balls AGAIN." With a final shout of rage, Marth used his final smash to send Ike flying._

When that episode was broadcasted, they did a close up on Marth's face before he used his final smash. After that episode aired, the Smash Mansion got reports that kids from all around the world started crying as soon as they saw Marth. No wonder Ness and Lucas avoid Marth now. Ike shivered as the memory ended. The event had been traumatizing for sure, but it lit a new found fire within Ike. He would now challenge Marth every week until the day he beat him, even if Marth used a pokeball. This was one of those battles. Ike froze up as Marth picked up the pokeball. A smirk spread across the prince's face.

"_My precious_…" Marth whispered in a strange voice stroking the circular item lovingly, before bringing his arm back and throwing it in the space between him and Ike.

_Well, _Ike thought positively, _he can't win all the time. What's the chances of him getting a good Pokemon like Entei anyways? He'll probably get a Goldeen. _By the time the ball landed there was practically a grin from ear to ear on Ike. There was no way Marth was going to get a good Pokemon. That would mean the author would be taking Marth's side-

Ike rolled his eye's as the author broke the fourth wall. Back to the story.

A bright flash of light blinded the two as the form of a Pokemon started to materialize. Ike's jaw dropped as the Pokemon became solid and reared up on it's hind legs.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

It was Entei.

***

"Damn it." Ike muttered under his breath, stabbing at the food on his plate with a fork. It was now lunch time in the Smash Mansion's cafeteria, but Ike was still thinking about that fight he had that morning. It was the fourth week in a row that he had been beaten by Marth, and it was embarrassing to say the least. He knew he could beat Marth easily if those damned pokeballs stopped showing up out of nowhere.

"Mister Ike sir."

Ike heard an adorable little kid's voice say. He looked down to see a cap worn the wrong way with hair barely sticking out over the edge of the table. Leaning over a little further, he saw the small form of Ness. Ike sighed. "What'dya want kid? "

"Your going to break the table if you keep stabbing it." Ness said, pointing to the obvious crack in the table.

"Oh… yeah." He muttered, setting the fork down. He expected Ness to continue on his merry way, but instead the little boy continued to stand there shifting from foot to foot nervously. Ike started to tap his fingers impatiently, before another sigh escaped him. "Is there something you want?" Ike growled out. It wasn't like he didn't like it the kid, it was just… he wasn't in the mood to baby sit.

Ness shrank back a little, but taking a deep breath he climbed up onto the chair next to Ike and sat down. He then said something Ike would never expect to hear from Ness. "You seem agitated. Is something troubling you?" Ness questioned seriously, placing a hand on Ike's shoulder in a comforting gesture. Ike raised his eyebrows in surprise.

_Oh yeah. It's easy to forget this guy is a mini genius, with his PSI powers and what not. _Ike thought. But should he really tell the kid? He was just a little boy… but why not? It wasn't like he had anything to lose. Before he could open his mouth to speak, Ness cut him off. "It was your fight with Marth this morning, wasn't?" He asked politely.

"Yes. How'd you know?" Ike asked.

"It's kind of obvious. Everyone in the Smash Mansion knows you got totally owned by Marth and Entei." Ness said nodding. Ike's eyebrow twitched. _I can see why it's easy to forget he's smart. _Ike thought angrily, referring to the fact that Ness had a bluntness that only a child could have.

"If you came here to rub it in-" Ike started but was cut off for the second time by Ness.

"Nope. Just the opposite. I came to help." Ness said with almost an air of arrogance. Ike couldn't help but wonder what happened to the kid that was shy and calling him 'Mister Ike sir' a few minutes ago. Nonetheless, he was intrigued.

"Help? What could a little kid like you do to help me?"

Ness smirked, before scooting his chair closer and whispering something into Ike's ear. Ike's eyes widened, a smile slow spreading across his face.

_That… That could definitely work. _

***

Ike waited a whole week to set his plan in motion. He couldn't allow his impatience to intervene with the perfect plan Ness had. Plus, it would raise suspicions if he asked to soon. So, as if on schedule, Ike asked Marth to a brawl on Monday like he would do every week. And of course Marth agreed. If there was a chance of a pokeball appearing, he would take it. The brawl was scheduled on Tuesday morning.

Monday was yesterday. Today was the day of the brawl, and Ike was practically jumping of the balls of his feet like a yaoi fan girl would when she see's the names Marth and Ike next to each other in the summary, except with less squealing of course. (Sorry girlies this isn't a yaoi fic. Yaoi just isn't my cup of tea if you get my drift) As an added bonus, Ness went around to every Smasher in the mansion, telling them something awesome was going to go down without giving away the exact details. Ike knew that almost every Smasher was probably in the hidden viewing booth, waiting to watch this fight.

Marth walked onto the stage coolly, a look of indifference on his face. Ike almost doubled over in laughter. Marth must think this was going to be like every other fight they had. As soon as Marth walked onto the stage the hologram projector which Master Hand created to make different stages to brawl on changed the stage to Final Destination. Ike's heart thumped harder than usual as both anticipated the starting sound. Suddenly the loud sound of a man's voice echoed, "GO!" and both swordsmen got into fighting position… until a pokeball fell out of the sky. And another, and another, until at least twenty pokeballs were surrounding Marth who looked like he had died and seen the light.

Ike smirked. _Ness' hack is working…_ Ike thought, remembering Ness' plan to hack the system and have pokeballs surround Marth as soon as the brawl started. But the plan was far from over. On the contrary, it was just getting started.

Ike put a hand over his mouth to keep the laughter in as Marth picked up a pokeball and quickly chucked it towards the ground… only to have a Goldeen flop out. Marth's eyes widened in horror. Ike burst into a fit of giggles. Marth quickly picked up another pokeball, and another until there was only one left, the last one, being held weakly in his hand. Every pokeball was a Goldeen.

Ike was practically rolling on the ground laughing by now. Using his sword to help him keep standing lest he fall over in laughter he remembered the words Ness told him to say when there was only one pokeball left. Standing upright and regaining his composure, Ike looked straight into Marth's horrified eyes and said these immortal words;

"The balls are inert."

Marth fell to ground, raised his arms up to the heavens and screamed Darth Vader style, "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" He said before falling over completely. The very last pokeball rolled slowly out of Marth's weak grip and came to a complete stop at Ike's shoe, before the ball opened and let out a blinding white light. The Pokemon began to take form, like the other nineteen Goldeens. Ike was about to smirk when-

His jaw dropped as the Pokemon became solid and reared up on it's hind legs.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

It was Entei.

***

_A/N: Haha, crackfic as my first fan fiction. Yep, that sounds about right. I know some of you will probably be thinking Red/Pokemon Trainer would have been a better pick, but that would make sense and I don't like sense very much. To be honest, I love every character in this fanfic, so if it seems like I'm picking on them I'm really not trying too. . (Even though I've never played Fire Emblem or the Earthbound/Mother games. /shot) I know "The balls are inert." makes no sense but I wanted to put the meme in the fic. Can you blame me? Anyways, please review and favorite! Thanks for reading!_

_And if you don't get it, Ness hacked the system they use to brawl to play a prank on Marth with all the Goldeens, but him being the lovely little bugger he is made the last pokeball Entei so he could prank both of them. Don't yall love Ness?_

_P.S. Oh, and if you would like to know, Marth won. Ike still has yet to beat him to this day._

_P.P.S. The title is a parody of the book, "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie." The extra 'A' in the title is not a mistake. _


End file.
